


To heal a broken soul

by DarkGirl



Series: Worlds of Pain [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-15 01:34:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13020474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkGirl/pseuds/DarkGirl
Summary: Rowena is a wanted woman, everyone knows that. But how far would reader go to protect her?





	1. Chapter 1

-I can’t. I can’t do this anymore.

Her beautiful face shattered like broken ice. She didn’t say anything; she just stared at your eyes, not believing what she had just heard.

-What? - she finally managed to pronounce.

She had meant it to be strong, but it sounded weak, broken. 

-I can’t keep this up. Maybe you’re used to this whole thing. - you walked with no sense of direction around the room, like a lion in a cage. -But I’m not. I can’t stand it anymore. You have no idea of how much it pains me to see you get hurt like that. To see you leave home in the morning and have no idea of if I’ll see you at night or in three months. To wait here for you and then hear you are dead. Yes you come back, but there’s always the 1% that the spell will fail.

She raised her hands, stopping your tirade.

-Y/N I had no idea... I, I have no words...

-You never do. This is what you’re used to. You’re a survivor, a fighter and the strongest one I or the world has ever known. But I’m not. Sometimes I feel like I’m holding you down. You want to fly but because of me you can’t. Because of me you get hurt. And I cannot take that anymore. I won’t.

Her bruised face followed every of your movements. She had just been rescued from a failed attempt at robbing some hunters. Well she didn’t call it a failure, she had gotten her precious grimoire and the hunters were dead. But it had been a risky plan; your heart had been on the verge of exploding at every second. You knew you would be the death of each other if you stayed. 

-Rowena, please, I love you. Don’t make it any more difficult than it already is. I’m doing this for both of us.

Green teary eyes stared into your orbs. She didn’t seem mad, just confused and a bit surprised. As if she had already known this would happen but had no idea it would be so soon. 

-Well I suppose there’s nothing I can do to stop you if you have already made up your mind. 

Her voice was now laced with coldness and it felt like a stab in your heart. But this was for the better, it had to be done.

Thinking about the number of times she had gotten hurt saving you made your heart hurt worse. You couldn’t keep doing that to either of you. 

-You once told me love is weakness and I told you it could be strength. I’ve come to realize it is never just one of those sides. 

You took her soft hand in yours and squeezed a little.

-You are the only woman, the only person, I have ever loved. You are both my weakness and my strength. 

A tear left your eye as you spoke. She had no idea of the things you would do for her, the lenghts you would cross.

-And I don’t think I will ever love someone the way I love you. Which is exactly why I have to leave. You know it’s true, I can see it in your eyes. You’re too strong, too powerful, and too free to be kept down.

She opened her lips to reply but you continued before she could utter a word.

-Please don’t say anything else. I love you, I always will. But for now I can’t keep doing this. 

-This is one of the most stupidest reasons I’ve ever heard in my centuries of life.- she cracked a teary smile. -and yet it makes sense. 

She kept talking.

-I guess I did lose my edge being with you. I can’t even remember a weekend free of torture and pain. But hey, we had our nice moments, didn’t we?

-We sure did, we still do. 

You both shared one last smile and you stood up.

-Row?

-Aye

-I love you. 

-I know.

With those final words you left the apartment, your heart shattered with every step you made and you wanted nothing more than to run back, to hug your girl and never leave her side again. 

You reached the street and stopped a cab. 

-Where to, miss?

You took one final glance at the building; you were doing this for her. To never see her getting hurt again, to keep her safe. She had no idea of the lenghts you were about to cross for her and it was probably better that way, she would have tried to stop you.

-Airport please.

Anything to keep her safe.


	2. Chapter 2

Transforming into Rowena wasn’t so difficult, you had spent enough time around her to know how imitate her every move. And you had used appearance spell several times before.

Dealing with the man of letters, Ketch, was a whole other deal.

It was all part of your plan, of course, to keep her safe. First the break up, then you would pretend to be her and face Ketch. What followed next was simple, make sure he stayed dead. 

Well easier said than done. Bloody man knew his deal. 

He had fallen for the whole pretending to be Rowena thing. Bad part? He had entirely fallen for the pretending to be Rowena thing. 

Shit. You thought. Plan worked a bit too well. 

You wondered how Rowena managed to handle so many tortures, it couldn’t have been more than an hour since he had overpowered you and you already felt like dying. 

-Just do the bloody spell!

You spat on his feet in the most Rowena way you could think of. You had to stall; it was not as if you could do the spell. You did not have a resurrection seal of your own.

-Stubborn one indeed! But you all witches break at the end! 

He spun you around; your arms were on chains hanging on the ceiling of a dark cellar. He had brought you, believing you were Rowena, to a cabin in the woods. The man knew his way around; you had to give him that. 

-Have I already told you how all your sisters died screaming? None would give your location. Hell! Even the Winchesters seemed surprised when I mentioned you.

He raised the knife and put it in your face, leaving a thin line of blood in Rowena’s left cheekbone. It hurt and all you could think of was how at least, with this, she was safe.

Ketch kept talking.

-Took me longer than expected but now that I have found you I can’t lose time. None of us can. The longer I have you the easier your many enemies can come to you and I’m pretty sure you don’t want that, do you sweetheart?

He caressed your face with the knife, from the cheek to the jaw, leaving a trail of blood.

-Fuck. Off.

Your body was all covered in bruises and blood; it was the only coherent thing you could think of.

You tried to gain strength from thinking about your girl. You knew you had to maintain the appearance spell or everything would have been for nothing. He would just kill you and go on a wild search for your girl again.

No. You had to kill him. 

This was just a settle back, you told yourself. A bloody big one and you had no idea of how to keep stalling. The pain was begging to be too much.

-You know I don’t get it. The other time you seemed pretty convinced to do anything to stop the pain and death. This time... what?

-You wouldn’t understand.- you managed to croak out. Your throat felt raspy and also hurt.

-True. And I don’t want to understand. I just want you to do the spell so we can both be on our merry way.

You stared at him dead in the eye.

-Shove it up yer arse.

Instead he shove the knife into your leg, dreadfully close to where Rowena’s magic casquet would have been. One of the things not even magic could replicate was that. You feared for a second he would realize the truth but he was too blind with rage to notice.

A scream covered the entire place and you realized it had been teared from your lips. Tears covered your cheeks, mixing with blood and makeup. 

Shit. You thought. I’m so bloody fucked. And she doesn’t even know. I’m gonna die here and she will live thinking that I abandoned her, like everyone in her life has. 

More tears streamed down your face. This time not from the physical pain, but from the one tearing your soul. 

He laughed, thinking he had finally broken the big bad witch. 

He raised his knife and stabbed your abdomen in a much practiced move. Blood poured out and you cried out. 

The world suddenly became fuzzy and he kept talking but his words made no sense.

You heard an explosion and the door fell from its hinges, someone barged in and lots of unintelligible shouting invaded the place.

One thought remained in your mind.

Row, I love you.


	3. Chapter 3

You woke up on the leather surface of the backseat of a car, someone had bandaged your abdomen and tried to clean your wounds.

You took deep breaths, trying to calm the pain that remained. Of all the people that could barge in...

-Hey, I think she’s awake.

-Really? Well she’s been out for about 7 hours, Dean.

Aye, those two voices confirmed your fears. The Winchesters. You panicked. Had the appearance spell resisted? Did they know it was you? Or Rowena? But most important, was the bastard dead?

-Rowena?- asked the oldest of the brothers, unknowingly answering some of your doubts.

-Is he dead?- were the only words you managed to say, it was the entire point of your mission after all. Surely they had barged in and killed the arse in the fight, right? 

Silence met your words and you opened your eyes, only to close them again, being assaulted with bright light. 

-Is the bloody bampot dead? 

You repeated, trying to talk the part and not faint from the pain again. 

Sam chuckled a bit, remembering the time Rowena had called him that, but you didn’t know that and remembering that he had once kidnaped your girl would have fueled your anger. 

-I don’t see where this is funny.

Dean shook his head.

-No, he’s not. He is alive, however it is a miracle that you are. He really did a number on you and there is the Lucifer thing... 

On me, you thought, not on Rowena. No, she was safe, just as you had planned. You calmed a bit. These proved to be another batch at your plan but at least you were alive. Now, how to kill Ketch with the Winchesters so close by? You ignored his attempt at a question and focused on your plan.

-Where is he?

Dean pointed to the truck.

-Heavily sedated and tied up.

You nodded slowly and tried to sit up. Only to be met by some of the most unbearable pain you had ever felt. You made a note to never get stabbed there again. 

-Hey hey take it easy.- squirrel pointed at your bandages. -you’re gonna rip it open again. 

Suddenly you felt the need to scream at him in your very colorful vocabulary. You had to bite your tongue. Rowena wouldn’t do that. She would insult them with sarcasm, find a way to get them divided and fighting with each other and then pout in the corner just letting out snarky remarks every two seconds. 

You were too tired and in too much pain to do the whole process so you resorted to doing the late one.

-I’m surrounded by bloody bampots.

-Hey! We just saved your life!

-Who barely know how to patch a wound...

-Lady stop right there...

-Well it is no surprise, these two lads do tend to get each other killed, it was to asume some of it would be due to lack of medical attention.

They just stared open wide at you and you smirked a little, proud to have played the part decently. Then you just remained in silence, pouting in the back and it wasn’t long until you fell into the sweet embrace of unconsciousness again.

You woke up hours later, this time on a raspy bed. The bunker no doubt. You were glad they had put you on a guest room instead of the dungeons. It at least meant they were beginning to have some respect for Rowena, or who they thought was the witch.

Your abdomen still hurt so standing up was not an option. You needed to do a healing spell, then find Ketch, kill him and run before the brothers realized the truth. 

It was a wonder you had managed to deceive so many people until now.

-They should give me a bloody oscar, and an emmy and tony now that we’re at it.- you muttered.

You had fooled your girl, Ketch and the Winchesters. That only deserved a price that you thought of.

You were so focused in your own thoughts that you did not notice the door opening until a familiar pair or eyes entered you vision.

Your own face looked back at you, eyes burning with anger, disappointment a wee bit of... was that worry?

-Y/N, what in the bloody hell do you think you are doing? 

It was your voice, but it was laced with a gorgeous scottish accent you had not realized you had missed so much, a gorgeous accent that did not correspond the image of the speaker.

You gulped and suddenly the pain in your abdomen wasn’t your biggest concern, the anguish in your heart was.


End file.
